Yesterday, I broke another piece of ceramics. I have been on a bit of a rough streak these past few months. Casualties include but are not limited to a Russell Wrankle, Jen Allen, and now an Andy Shaw. Below is the letter I wrote to Andy expressing my deep sadness in the loss of my plate but also my realization of the importance of handmade ceramics.
I came across a piece by Yoko Ono this morning, a glass bottle inscribed it said 'Not to be appreciated until its broken'.
Last night I broke a plate. I was devastated I left it on the kitchen table and walked upstairs. I heard a loud crash and I fumbled downstairs as fast as I could. I did not need to go downstairs to know what happened. I knew the plate was broken. The cat had jumped on the table and somehow pushed your plate off the edge.
Forrest gave me that plate as a gift during our first semester apart. It was a prized possession for many reasons one being that it was a gift and a very thoughtful gift he knows I much prefer little plates and picked out a perfect sized lunch plate. The other being that it was handmade, I could feel the love and craft that was put into the piece. I used it everyday. I used it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. When I was home of course- not as often as I would like! I knew in the back of my mind that the plate was special but I never really thought too much of it. I would wash it after each meal so that it was clean and ready for the next. I never put it back in the cupboard it was always migrating from my hands to the sink to the dish rack and back again.
Maybe like Yoko Ono's piece suggests I can't fully appreciate it until it's broken. I wish that was not true. I wish I could have my plate back, but the experience is making me think about the value I have on these handmade objects that have made their way into my home and life.
As a maker of functional objects, I can only hope that my pieces can make the impact that yours made on me.
Thank you for making.
Jeni
Yes. Cats can be evil that way. I think that not appreciating something until its gone is a common theme throughout everyone's life. Whether its relationships with people, personal or treasured items, or (especially with this economy)a steady job. You just grow accustomed to the constancy of your surroundings and your routine.I think its important to take time every once in a while to make it a point to be aware of how important/special/useful the things in your life are because once they are gone, longing for them to return or being sad that they are gone doesn't mean nearly as much.
ReplyDeleteIt really is true that you don't know how much something matters to you until it is no longer a part of your life. I think in your case, the plate held great significance because it was a gift from Forrest, and like you said, a particularly thoughtful one. The plate also was in constant use by you and had a part in your daily life.
ReplyDeleteAlso, with handmade pieces of art, a great deal of the artist goes into the piece. Their ideas, their creativity, their hard work. To see that shattered is to see part of them broken in a way. It wasn't just monetary value, but the value of Andy's art.
I have the plate you made and gave to me for helping with glaze testing, and I would be heartbroken if something were to happen to it.
Nowadays, pretty much every object we use in everyday life is one of a billion identical, mass-produced objects churned out in a heartbeat. Each holds little value, since it took so little to create it. But every handmade object is something unique. When a mass-produced object is destroyed, one has only to acquire another copy of the object from the company that made it. But when a hand-made object is destroyed, it can never be replaced. The creator can only hope to make a similarly beautiful thing that may make a good substitute, but never a replacement. It is because of this that a handmade object has more value than something mass-produced, even if that value may be more personal than monetary. And so, the destruction of a handmade object is far more tragic.
ReplyDeleteI hate cats. But after rereading this I think you did appreciate that plate before it was broken, it's just more of a sub conscious appreciation. It was the only plate you used, no plate was good enough to replace it. And you washed it after every meal opposed to letting it wait around in its filth like I do with all of mine. What's even better about this plate is that it was a meaningful gift from someone you love in your life. The fact you used it everyday also reflects the appriciation and consideration you have for Forrest. Don't be so hard on yourself, just because you didn't hug the plate goodbye everytime you left doesn't mean you didn't love it. You gave that plate the best life it could have and had to hold tears back as you watched it die. Don't have regrets about not treating it better, that Andy shaw plate will forever be remembered in your heart <33
ReplyDeleteI am the kind of person that puts a lot of value into certain objects. Not for the price that they cost or how much monetarily they are worth, but because they mean a lot to me. I hate to throw things away, even if they are broken, because I always have some sort of attachment to whatever it may be. I save everything because leaving something behind may mean getting rid of a memory or important part of my life as well. I've had things break, and especially in the last year (due to transition to college, a LOT of health and emotional problems, etc.) I've learned to put less importance on things and transfer these good feelings and memories onto the ideas in my head or the people they come from. This has really ben beneficial to me living in the moment and I've begun to just fully appreciate life more. It's been a very interesting and wonderful transition.
ReplyDeleteSo I really appreciate your story, and I love that you shared this with us because I have found myself in the same position before. Especially a plate as meaningful as that one, the one that sort of brought you closer to Forrest as you are across the country from each other, that must have been a difficult thing to lose. But I also really appreciate and understand the meaning you found in the plate breaking (and I love that you kept it :) ).
There are so many little things in all of our lives that we use every day. The specific pencil we take a test with, or the chap stick we use when the weather acts up. Obviously our connection with these minuscule items seems rather trivial in the scheme of things we own, but every single thing that we own can trigger an emotion, most likely just because it's ours. There's not much in the world that is ours and only ours, so when we can claim something, explain where it came from and how it's used, it gives us a sense of pride in our belongings. Now the trivial chap stick that i can easily buy another of at CVS doesn't scream importance like a gift, your plate, for example. The gifts are the things that mean the most. Things passed down to us, things given to us out of love, those things are the ones that matter most. I may be thinking too deeply about a broken plate, but it is those gifts from people we love that remind us how not alone we are when we feel alone. It's wearing the scarf my mom's best friend made me that makes me feel like my home isn't an 8 hour drive away. And when the scarf ripped and I couldn't wear it anymore, it's having it on my shelf folded up that reminds me that even if I didn't take the best care of it, she still made it for me out of love, and in which case I love it whether it's wearable or not.
ReplyDeleteEven if the plate is broken, you still know what it means. It doesn't mean anything emotionally is broken. It means an accident happened that reminded you of how much you loved that gift.
Besides material things, like my car, the only object I hold emotional attachment to is my wallet. It used to be my father's wallet before he passed away and it's pretty much all I have left to remember him by. It has his name engraved on it and later on I engraved my name on the other side. Its really worn out and has several holes in it, but I still use it everyday. I agree with Michael that handmade things tend to be more personal, but even mass produced things like a wallet, can have a little part of you or a loved one in it. So I can totally understand how you felt when your plate broke. I would be devastated if anything happened to my wallet.
ReplyDeleteBasically after reading everyone else's thoughts, I tend to agree that personal value in objects comes from the sentimental value we place on them after they are received as gifts or family heirlooms. Also, before reading this post I never thought about the hands that have been involved in the inspiration, creation and manufacturing of all things we come into contact with on a daily basis. Although, as Michael said, many items these days are mass produced by the thousands, there is still likely some form of human interaction in most of these processes. Although it may not occur to us, at some point someone created everything we use daily and it was their idea, their masterpiece. This makes me want to put the most effort into my pieces this semester, especially if I give some of them away, as although I may not love every piece I create, I put a lot of work into them and they are my own personal masterpieces. Hopefully they will be held with esteem by those with whom I choose to share them.
ReplyDeleteThis post and following comments made me begin wondering about what I have that means as much to me as this plate did to you. I suppose it is the little things that came to mind. None of my belongings hold such value to me that they are a part of my everyday life, yet there are those small, pointless artifacts from my past that for some reason have never found their way into the trash. Buttons, statues, nic-nacs, terrible gifts from my aunts, uncles, or grandparents. Each has a story that comes back to mind when I randomly stumble upon the treasure in some deep corner of my house. Should you put your plate back together and not be able to still eat off of it, it may find its way into a cupboard. And when the random time comes for you to reach into that cupboard you will remember small things from the plate's lifetime; from receiving it as a gift from Forrest, to the moment you heard it break. You may even remember the first ceramics class you taught at OSU and the thoughts you stirred up with this story. These memories, not the objects I listed above, are what is truly important to me, yet neither could exist without the other.
ReplyDeleteWhen I use objects I value in everyday life I become so use to it always being okay that I no longer handle it with as much care as I did in the beginning. When this happens the value of it is forgotten and the meaning it had to me for a split second and that is when an everyday occurrence such as a cat jumping on the table, bumping into something, or spilling something on that object can make you realize how attached you were with it. But, without that everyday use you wouldn't have realized how much something meant to you until it was no longer there. With that said, as much as one may wish they still had that object of value no longer having it will provide you with the meanings and memories behind it that wouldn't have surfaced into your mind unless it was gone. People's value on objects such as your plate are the reason artists such as Andy and yourself make these everyday items, and why you want us to be proud of our pieces because one day someone will go through the same experience and appreciate the craft beauty behind something given to them as you did.
ReplyDeleteIn your class, with a day in which I did not have much to do as far as working on the projects is concerned, I decided to put some real effort into creating a simple cup to use for myself. I wanted to make this for two reasons, the first being to prove to myself that I could make a piece that Flourian could look at and examine and say "wow, this is really nice" (in that Austrian accent of his). The second reason being that I wanted a large cup to use at home every day and to be proud of it. I jumped on the wheel and threw unquestionably the best cylinder I had ever thrown in your class. I took all the care I could to make this piece well crafted. Unfortunately, I was carrying the piece to the glaze bucket and had decided to use the tongs to hold the piece as I dipped it into the glaze and as soon as I felt I had a firm grip on the piece with the tongs, the cup slipped out and fell to the floor shattering both the cup and my spirit. I like to think that this taught me a valuable lesson of ceramics, that no matter how much effort and care you take, anything can happen.
ReplyDeleteIt may sound cliché but you really don't appreciate something until it is gone. It's funny how an object that we use everyday is soon thought of as the ordinary because it is used everyday. Once that object is not longer there for the everyday use, it really is missed. I have a tervis cup that I use everyday just to drink from and I also take it to the gym. Over spring break I left it at home and I have been missing it since. I can't imagine if the cup broke and could never use it again. Your plate is extra special because not only was it part of your everyday routine but it also had special meaning. Anything with sentimental value i precious. Like you said, sometimes we don't even realize how special something is to us until it's no longer there.
ReplyDeleteI like the words on Yoko Ono's piece that ' Not be appreciated until its broken', we need to learn to appreciate things around us in case we might lose them sometimes. I don't have many things made by me or something I treasure very much, so I might not feel the way you feel, when I lost something I always try to buy another one to replace it, maybe because they are not made by me, so I don't really have much feeling about it. One thing got me to think is that in the first project of hand building, my minion robot lost one of his wheel when I was painting it, the remade wheel didn't match with the other one, because the wheels were not made from the same slab, so the thickness of the wheels were different, the minion looks unbalanced due to the wheels with different size. I feel sorry for this piece because of my carelessness, it's not balanced anymore.
ReplyDeleteWhile I have never had my heart broken by a broken piece of ceramic, I have lost many an item precious to me: my Disney silverware comes to mind, with my Mickey Spoon, Donald fork, and Goofy knife I would eat (or refuse to eat, as the case may be) all the meals of my childhood. While many children eat their breakfast cereal out of a favorite cartoon or character bowl, I made due with my silverware. I don't even know where they came from, but I loved them. While Cinderella used to sing "Don't know what you got 'til it's gone", I can fully understand the sadness behind losing a beloved keepsake. However, while it may be trite, you still keep the story in your heart and the sentiment behind Forrest's gift is still there. Like another big-hair band used to sing: "the memory remains".
ReplyDeleteAll the best for the summer, and I hope the best for you and yours.